31 3 / 2012
Joggy Jog
A couple of weeks ago, my doc gave me the green light to start running, lifting weights, and start to play soccer when I was ready. At that point it had been 4 months since the break, and my leg was starting to feel like my leg again. It is hard to explain, but still today my leg feels a bit weird but it is much better. Just 2 months ago, I was using a cane and without it I had a pretty serious, I mean serious limp. A fellow patient in therapy called it my “Sexy Walk”. Pretty funny. I was without the shower chair and could actually get my own glass of water. I also have been fishing quite a few times! Things were moving along quite well.
My doc was very pleased with the growth of the tibia. The fibula on the other hand is trying to find its way back together, but from the beginning, our main concern was the tibia which was healing nicely.
The fibula as you can see is trying to connect. I think this to will just take more time to heal and from what I have been told this is normal. This bone bears only about 10% of your body weight and you can teach your body to compensate elsewhere. I used to be able to feel it clicking around in there, but that has gone away. Something that makes me think it is starting to connect.
When I heard him say start running in the office that day, you would have thought I won the Mega Millions Jack pot! Sorry, had to throw that in there. My eyes filled with tears and I thanked God. It was pretty awesome! You could see in my surgeon’s eyes as well the joy he could see in me. And I thanked him also. It was a pretty cool moment for the both of us.
I let my PT’s know as well and they were just as excited. I was ready to hop on that treadmill that day, but I was not quite ready. Until this week! Again, a very big step in my recovery. I found myself actually jogging for the first time again in 4 1/2 months. And I honestly felt God right there with me.
1 Chronicles 16:34
Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!For His mercy endures forever.
This brings to my mind a day when I read a passage in my daily devotion. I remember the date, February 21st. It really hit me hard. It is a little lengthy but definitely worth it.
“A common belief in Jewish culture was that calamity or suffering was the result of great sin. But Christ used the man’s suffering to teach about faith and to glorify God. We live in a fallen world where good behavior is not always rewarded and bad behavior not always punished. Therefore innocent people sometimes suffer. If God took suffering away whenever we asked, we would follow him for comfort and convenience, not out of love and devotion. Regardless of the reasons for our suffering, Jesus has the power to help us deal with it. When you suffer from a disease, tragedy, or disability, try not to ask “Why did this happen to me?” or “What did I do wrong?” Instead, ask God to give you strength for the trial and a clearer perspective on what is happening.”
John 9:2-3
3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
In roughly 135 days, I started to jog again. And then I realized something. It is not about running, playing soccer, or anything else. It is about His Glory! Truly awesome!
The last 2 months have been amazing. Looking back at my struggles with my leg it truly reminds me how blessed I am. I look at my cane and crutches from time to time, and I don’t find myself upset. I think about how God used them to increase my faith and that if I could go back to the day I broke my leg, that I would not change a thing. It is crazy how things work out sometimes. I believe I am a much stronger Christian today then I was before, and I am forever grateful.
I still go to PT 3 days a week and I know I still have a ways to go. But I am no longer asking why, but am embracing my situation.
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds (NIV)
04 2 / 2012
No One said it would be easy, I just thought it would be…
3 Month Check Up
Due to some pain I was having where the break occurred, I decided to move my appointment up from the 16th to yesterday just to see what was going on. I had been having this pain for a couple of weeks, but only when I would apply full weight doing certain things. The PT’s were a little concerned as well just for the fact that it was holding me back from moving on in some of my therapy.
The news basically was that the x-ray from December and yesterday did not show a whole lot of difference. I only met with the PA so I did not hear my surgeons take on things. When I looked at Abby’s face full of concern, the doubtfulness again re-entered my mind. I know I was shocked as well. I think both of us were expecting to see an x-ray with two completely healed bones. That was not the case.
At the time it is hard to keep a sound mind. Again, the worst of the worst always starts to pop into my head. Possibly a non-union? Bone graph? More surgery? Right surgeon? Anything and everything. After the PA left we gathered ourselves, spoke to God and reminded ourselves that he is in control of this situation.
Romans 14:23 NIV
But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.”
Doubting in my eyes directly aligns with control. When I am not in control, I doubt and lose faith. The reality is, I am not in control. God is in control and my faith belongs in Him. So instead of doubting and thinking of the what if factor, we started to focus on our faith and the positives. The healing that did show in a short amount of time. The hardware has not moved and is still holding strong. The fact that it has only been 3 months and the tibula is the slowest healing bone in the body. In most cases you will see much more healing at 6 months. The people in our lives that we have around us to answer questions and comfort us. Being off pain medicine for 5 weeks. Walking with a cane (Glory to God!), seriously.
I am blessed with so many things that are for a reason. A player I coach, her Dad is an orthopedic surgeon who I can come to with questions at any time (this being a great time because I only saw the PA and not my surgeon and had lots of questions that he could not answer), a best friend who is about to start residency in orthopedic surgery who God placed in my life 4 years ago for many other reasons than just this, and a wife and companion who wants the best for me and strives to bring out my best who happens to be a wonderful RN! She also has a good friend who works for and OS and can call on anytime to answer questions. The list goes on and on!
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”‘ – Rom 8:28
After speaking to these people and Abby doing a little bit of research, we learned that this process is normal. It is not considered a non-union after 3 months, there was some growth seen in the x-ray, and this is just going to be a slow process. I have to push through the pain and make myself continue to bear more weight on my leg. I have to remain positive and patient. I remind myself everyday that I belong to Him and that every situation is to glorify His name. I will remain faithful and will continue to seek answers through God.
Just like my walk with Christ is not easy and will always be a battle, I know this journey is one of the same, and I will remain faithful!
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds (NIV)
10 1 / 2012
God’s Way of Leading is Step by Step
8 weeks ago today I believe my life was changed. Not because of my injury, but because of the circumstances. The reason I started this blog was to follow my recovery and be able to document my progress and record significant events. To keep myself motivated and know the end is in sight. But in a way, step by step this injury has opened my eyes.
Psalm 39:4
“LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is.
I was reading Steve Jobs eulogy from his sister for a team building exercise at work a couple of weeks ago. One thing struck me hard when I was reading it. He was speaking to his wife on his death bed apologizing because he would not be able to grow old with her. It just made me think of how fast life really is. I know I will not die from my broken leg (although I did think about it when I was in the hospital, all the what ifs, funny if you know me), but it has made me realize that the little things do matter. Waking up to my wonderful and beautiful wife in the morning, my stellar dog Tilly who I love like a child (I know if you aren’t a dog person you may not understand), catching a big bass, and hanging out with family and friends. Most importantly it showed me what does matter, knowing that I love an awesome God who loves me no matter what!
Romans 5:8
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Ephesians 2:4-5
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—
When I accepted Christ into my life 6 years ago, my life was changed forever. This being the most important step. Of course there are going to be hiccups along the way, but knowing we have a God like that is amazing!
The Next Step, Physical Therapy
I started my 3rd week of PT this week and it is awesome! I am gradually being able to do more each visit. I am blessed to be able to go 3 days per week and I honestly look forward to it all day. The people are awesome and very encouraging. And everyone there loves the Thunder so that is an extra bonus! I would say I am about 70 to 80 percent weight bearing. I am allowed to walk with one crutch now for short distances and just waiting for the green light to use only one for here on out until I am walking. I am hopeful that step will happen in the next couple of weeks.
PT right now is mostly concentrating on getting my ankle back to full range of motion and regaining the strength in my leg muscles, especially my calf. Unfortunately my left calf is no calf. This process honestly is frustrating to say the least. Not that I had huge calf muscles to begin with, but until it comes back the blood in my leg will continue to just pool in my ankle and foot, which sucks! They assure me this will eventually get better, but sometimes it is hard to be patient (Insert my blog on Patience here). I was told this would be a process and it is. My first goal is to be at a fast walk by the end of February, and then my second goal is to try and run the 5K at the Memorial Marathon in April, so we will see. One step at time!
This injury was just a step in God’s journey for me. It truly has brought me closer to Him and made my relationship with Him stronger! It has allowed me to share what was so hard for me to share at one point in my life, my faith and love for Christ.
James 1:2
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds
23 12 / 2011
What a Day!
When Abby and I went to schedule my follow up appointment with my doctor and he said come back in a month, it fell on December 22nd, her birthday. We thought might as well because we will for sure be celebrating something. So we went ahead and scheduled my visit for the same day knowing we could be disappointed if my healing had not progressed. And in my head I really was thinking if I got some bad news from the Doc, I knew I would be celebrating the life of my best friend, the life of someone who has forever changed my life. I do thank God every day for Abby. I told Abby this morning if you asked me 10 years ago where would I be, I would have definitely not thought here. Abby brought me back to Christ and to know the love of Christ. And for that, I am forever grateful!
Proverbs 11:14
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Well, today went very well! Besides celebrating the life of the woman I love, the doctor had good news as well. Both broken bones in my right foot were totally healed, and both broken bones in my left leg where showing signs of bone growth. Definitely more answered prayers! Oh, and I can put 50% weight on my left leg and he wants me off my crutches in 2 weeks!
8 Days after surgery 38 Days after surgery
If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
How amazing this process is! God is so Good! And pretty cool…
Next up physical therapy 3 days/week and 2 days/week at home. My doc said the 6 to 12 week stage is the most critical and difficult. Mostly due to the pain and process of getting back to where I was before the injury. Normal. Let’s do this!
1 Chronicles 16:11
Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!
Psalm 46:1
14 12 / 2011
All this Healing in One Month
I was watching TV with Abbs tonight, and we came across Evan Almighty. We have always enjoyed this movie so we started to watch for a bit. The portion of the movie that was on was when God was speaking to Evan’s wife about how God told him to build the Ark. They started discussing about how when you pray for things from God, that you may not always get it right then, but He may be preparing to work other areas in your life first.
Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
So, this got me thinking. I pray for healing everyday. As of late, I have been getting frustrated with the crutches, pain, just plain mad at the whole situation. I so badly want to put weight on my leg and see what happens. My stubborn mind thinks I will be just fine. Then I realize that would probably be a bad idea. I just remind myself that God is healing my leg, and he is also healing other areas of my life at the same time.
Patience
I thought I was a patient person. I have realized recently that is something I could definitely work on. Patience with God, in my marriage, patience with others, patience with my family. There are many things. I know this injury is going to take some time to heal, and I am going to have to have patience. I just focus on the current day and continue to keep my attitude good and my spirits strong. This verse makes some much sense to me now. No need to dwell on the situation.
A cheerful heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22
Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.
Prayer Life
I had mentioned before that again soccer was beginning to take over my life again. I believe God blessed me with my soccer ability, but he does not intend for that blessing to take over ones life. God, quietly, was beginning to slide into second place in my life. Something I believe he fought vigorously for many years to be in first place. My prayer life, bible study on Monday evenings, parts of my marriage, serving (still an issue), all took a back seat. I was losing focus on something that meant so much to me. Since the injury, most of these things are much better. They are far from perfect but I am now more intentional with these issues. I know God wants me to coach and play soccer again, but I do think He wants me to do those things for the right reasons keeping Him number one in my life.
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds (NIV)
10 12 / 2011
Healing on the Outside, Hope for the Inside
It has been 17 days since I saw my OS when he removed the soft cast and 30 staples which was 8 days after my surgery. As you can see from the photos (Warning! One is pretty nasty!) the outside his healing very nicely. Also, the two bones I broke in my right foot are doing much better, as long as I keep my weight on my heel.
Psalm 30:2 O LORD my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.
This verse will continue to be a prayer for more healing!
8 Days after Surgery 25 Days after Surgery
Definitely the outside of my leg is an answered prayer! The incision looks good and so far no infection and it is almost totally healed! It is crazy how bad it looked just 17 days ago. When I would look at my leg it was depressing. Now looking at it, I see myself running on the soccer field again and teaching my own kids how to play!
Honestly, I still find myself asking the question why? Someone once told me that it is ok to ask questions, that it will make your faith stronger. I do believe that. Because the more questions you have, then the more answers are revealed. One thing Abby and I were pretty good at when we first got married was praying at night together. Praying for our marriage, blessings, or anything else going on in our lives. Like so many others, we had good intentions, but it fizzled out. Since my injury, we are both going to God together in a way we have never have before. Her oldest sister Leah pointed out to us, “See, God is already using this for His Glory!” I believe this injury will make our marriage stronger in Christ!
I know some of this sounds to good to be true. I accepted Christ into my life around 6 year ago. I will be the first to admit I have made many mistakes along the way. And I was not one to profess my faith outwardly for everyone to know. I believe this has kind of pushed me over the hump to be able to share and profess my love for Christ and how He has changed my life.
1 John 2:6
Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.
All this gives me Hope. Hope was part of the message last week at Church. I love it when you go to Church and you feel like God was talking directly to you.
“A New Day with Christ Brings the Hope to keep going.”
Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him to the one who seeks Him.
Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Hope is something I will always have. I found a website, www.mybrokenleg.com, and it was a fantastic place for hope. There are so many stories of others who had the same or similar type of injury as mine. Reading their stories gave me hope. It also made me realize that this will be a slow healing process and to be patient. My hope is for God to heal my bones while strengthening my mind and heart. To make me a stronger Christian…
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds (NIV)
07 12 / 2011
Time for a Break, November 14th, 2011
A usual Sunday in my usual life, so I thought. The day began with me deciding to skip Church to go to a soccer game. My wife was out of town, and although I do enjoy going to church by myself sometimes, this time I decided to go to the game and figured I would catch church the next weekend. This game went well. We won and so I headed home now ready to go fishing with one of my best buds, Jay. Jay is a big part of my soccer career and coached me growing up.
Even though while fishing we did not catch a single fish, it is always good to get the line wet and enjoy the main reason I enjoy fishing. Relaxation with no worries. Just you and the wonderful things God put on this earth. Psalm 104:24 - O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom has thou made them all: the earth is full of your riches. Headed home from fishing, I was excited to see Abby who I had not seen since Friday. When I got home we hung out a bit, ate some food, watched a little football (well I watched a little football), and then it was time for me to head to my indoor game at 10pm. The game was against the other best team in the league so I was excited knowing it was going to be a good game. Being the competitor I am, I would rather be in a 4-3 game then a 10-3 game. More fun, more fitness, and well just more. Again, I realize it is just a game, but competition has always been apart of my life. Some people will say, it is just indoor soccer. To me it is much more than that. The game was tied, only 3 or 4 seconds left. The ball was in the middle of the field. For some reason I felt like I needed to get to the ball. As did the opponent. We both slid in to win the 50/50 challenge, and I do remember hearing a snap. Like someone giving a loud high five. The same sound I heard twice in 3rd grade when I broke my right leg playing soccer twice, the second coming only a month after getting my cast off. After the tackle, I tried to get up. I thought that could not have been me, I can not get injured. So I thought. I saw my left leg bent backwards and then went straight to the ground. I remember saying three things: 1. Call an ambulance 2. Call my wife 3. Someone please put something under my leg because the pain was something awful From there I became very emotional. I think I may have been in shock a little bit as well. Again, if you know me not a surprise. It is in a time like this lying in the ER that I felt God’s grace all around me. I do not think I realized it at the moment, but now I do. My Wife, My Family, My Friends, My LifeGroup, My Teammates, the Love. 1 Peter 5:10 And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. I will be honest, at first I thought I was being punished. Skipping church? Decisions in the past? Busyness of Life? So many thoughts were going through my head. God has a plan for me and I trust His plan. Do I know the reason why this happened? Not yet? Do I get mad or frustrated sometimes? Of course. It stinks not being able to get a glass of water or shower standing up. But I will say this, I am excited to see how God plans to use it for His Glory. What a truly amazing God! New Living Translation (NLT)
07 12 / 2011
First Blog Post
This is my very first blog post. The intention of this blog is to keep myself motivated in Christ with my recovery. Life contains many obstacles. These obstacles can hold you back, or make you stronger. People ask me how are you doing? My response is always, getting better every day with a smile on my face. I know I just broke my leg and it is not the end, but the beginning of a new trial. I consider myself a very ambitious (pleasantly persistent) person and I plan on playing the game I grew to love again. For the people that know me, Soccer is my identity, a part of who I am. I have played the great game for 26 years. This sport has taught me about life in so many ways and created so many memories and long-lasting friendships. I felt like it was my way to mentor and teach young players about Christian values, life, and many other things. Now as a player, I am very competitive and sometimes these same values are not always displayed. I make mistakes, and I own up to my actions. I just try and do better the next time.
1 Corinthians 9:25
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (NIV)
